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Jellyfish Fart

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(Shirt: Old Navy Maternity Jacket: Banana Republic  Pants: Target  Necklace & Shoes: HandMeDown)

If you haven’t figured out by now, my brain is totally random. And to be honest, I really only share the watered-down versions of my thoughts, so you don’t think I’m an absolute freak. This was a conversation my husband and I had the other day…

Me: “What if ocean animals farted and their fart bubbles traveled to the top of the water and when it popped it made a melodic sound? Like each animal had a different and unique fart bubble sound. What would whales sound like?”

Hubby: “What would a jellyfish fart sound like?”

And yes, this conversation went on for another ten minutes or so with us naming underwater animals and then making the sounds that we think their “fart bubbles” would sound like. I’m so thankful I have a husband that not only puts up with my crazy, but goes along with it. What would a jellyfish fart sound like?!

Where’d That Bruise Come From?!

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(Necklace: jane.com  Shirt: consignment store  Skirt: Old Navy Maternity  Shoes: Goodwill)

I’m sure I’ve written before what a total and complete klutz I am. It seems like walls just suddenly appear a millisecond before I run into them or the coffee table comes out of nowhere and takes my pinky toe off. But the worst part is that I will occasionally look down at my arms or legs and see a gigantic bruise and have no recollection of where it came from or when it happened. You see, when you walk into things constantly, it kind of becomes second nature and you forget it even happened. Like right now, I just looked down at my knee and saw a ton of scratches on it, but have no clue how it happened. I swear, if I continue this way, I’m going to break my hip from accidentally falling by the time I’m forty. Good thing I drink a lot of milk to fortify my bones. ;)

Kids And Plants

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(Necklace-Goodwill (JCrew)  Shirt: Old Navy Maternity  Dress: HandMeDown  Shoes-eBay (Steve Madden))

For Christmas, one of my husband’s coworkers gave me a lily as a present. This would have been a very thoughtful idea, if it wasn’t one of those “plant yourself and see it grow” kind of projects. I’ve mentioned before how I’m guilty of plant murder. Well, I did my best and I followed all the directions. I watered it, put it out in the sun and after more than a month, nothing happened. So, I did what I do best and completely ignored that sucker. And I went out the other day and realized that it had started to bloom! After I hadn’t watered it for more than a month. What the what?! My husband laughed at my bewilderment and stated, “I think you loved it too much. Plants are like kids, if you ignore them, they will go and do something to get your attention.” Makes perfect sense to me. Aren’t you jealous you didn’t marry such a crazy, insightful guy? ;)

Nesting? Not So Much

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(Jacket: HandMeDown  Shirt: GAP Maternity  Necklace: Instagram shop  Pants: Old Navy Maternity  Shoes: eBay-Steve Madden)

I have never been hit by the “nesting” phase of pregnancy. I’m also a person that generally hates to clean. I do it more out of necessity than pleasure. Like today, I hit my limit on how gross my bathroom was (with three guys using it, I’m sure you can get a good visual picture) and finally cleaned it. And then there were the countless chores around my house that hadn’t been done for ages (we had a ridiculous amount of Borax scattered around our windowsills from a massive ant attack back in June…embarrassing). I’m wondering if the nesting stage only hits people who actually enjoy cleaning. That would make a lot more sense.

The Worm Is All Mine

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(Earrings: Noonday Collection  Scarf: Target  Sweater & Dress: Old Navy Maternity  Boots: eBay-Lucky Brand)

I laugh when people ask me if I am a morning person or a night person. I am without a doubt a morning person. Even in college, I remember people going to hang out at 8pm and thinking “That’s SO late!!” Sleeping in (even before I had kids) is a big deal if I make it to 7am. My stupid, over-active brain just starts spinning it’s wheels even before the crack of dawn.  Now this would be beneficial if I got up before my kids to get things done, but unfortunately I’m breeding a little army of early risers. At least I’ll always have someone to watch the sunrise with me, since Lord knows my husband will be snoozing hours past we are all up (and yes, that is said with 100% jealousy).

Unhealthy

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(Shirt-Old Navy Maternity  Necklace: Noonday Collection  Jeans: Old Navy Maternity  Shoes: facebook store)

I am out of control. As I’m sure I’ve admitted before, I am a total sugar addict. As much as I love eating healthy, I have fallen off the bandwagon lately. I am tired and don’t care/want to think about what I’m eating. For example, all week I’ve been taking an english muffish (and cookie butter), yogurt & granola and two tangerines for lunch. And I had TWO AND A HALF donuts yesterday. BAH! If I’m not careful even my maternity clothes aren’t going to fit me for much longer. I might need an intervention…

Accomplished

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(Top: Plato’s Closet  Leggings: Ross  Boots: Nordstrom-Steve Madden)

I gotta tell you that nothing makes me feel more accomplished than when I clean my car. Please don’t think that I drive around all the time with a clean car. In fact, it is quite the opposite. With two kids boys and a husband that thinks the floor IS the trash can, the car is an absolute wreck 99.9% of the time. But there is that .1% when I get my act together and pick all that junk up and vacuum up the goldfish crackers, boiled egg shells (not joking with that one) and sand. And let me tell you friends, when my car is clean, I can totally look past the dirty floors, muddy fingerprints in my bathroom and pile of dishes in my kitchen sink and feel like I have got life figured out and completely under control. And when I’m really feeling fancy, I go to the car wash and watch other people get my life under control for me. ;)

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